Wasting Time..

seems to be a lifestyle rather than a brief moment in the day for me. There are millions of seconds, minutes, shit let me be honest, years that have brought me to this conclusion. Again. Story of my life, wasting time.

There was no side for me when my parents divorced. I saw a need within my mom to have us with her, & a rage within my dad. There were three of us, my pretend sister, my gone brother, & me the oldest. The HBIC. I ran shit. Then my gone brother left. A couple of years later the middle child, my pretend sister left. I took care of them, & they left me to take care of Her.
I tried. She needed me to change. To like a different kind of guy. One maybe with a trust fund, that wore ties. To not love tattoos, bad dogs, rock clubs & beer. To be her normal child, but I'm not. And I leave.

Eight years wasted.
Then there was the tragedy tragedies. So many they all blend together, a collage of wasted time. Rescuing the unsavable, losing touch. Another 5, or so, years of wasted time.

These last few years have been spent rebuilding, & adding on. I will not let them be more wasted time.

~HBIC